THE AMERICAN 64 DOLLAR QUESTION ONLY THE MUDULOOD COULD ANSWER

The Party was in full swing

Celebrating the twentieth anniversary

Of the MOD revolution

Of October 21!

The day Afwayne and his infernal crew crowed

Because they captured and seized power over all Somalis!

It was the very last year of Afwayne’s mindless MOD regime

It was 1990

There were

Many a minion,

Many a quisling,

Many an Afwayne acolyte

Many a crazy crony of the Darod despot

From every Somali clan

An Afwayne Calab from every Somali clan

But the (Marehan-Ogaden-Dhulbahante) MOD squad was

In full charge

Leading this Somali dance macabre of Papa Doc Afwayne

The liquor was flowing like the Juba river

The drink of choice was whisky called

Vat 69!

Because Afwayne’s MOD revolution shook the Somali nation in 69!

The favorite position of every MOD whore was 69

The favorite position of Siad Barre

Was not the missionary Muslim position

It was the revolutionary Russian position called 69!

Fuelled by Vat 69

All the Dhulbahante were subsumed by Dafle in Suban’s seal

Signaling 69!

BIG TIME!

Hasan Abshir

The Majerten minion

Afwayne’s catamite from Garowe

The lap dog of Afwayne

Proposed a toast

Barking

“Hai hai weligaa hai!”

Never ever never ever surrender mad MOD Power!

But an American party pooper

A CIA plant

Interposed

Proposing

Posing

Another question

An American $64 question

That nearly sobered up every one

Every one at the party!

Even Ali Matan!

The merciless Marehan drunk rapist!

—“Gentleman”,

Announced the American interloper

Since there were no ladies at this patriarchal stag MAD MOD bachelor party

“Gentleman!

I hate to rain on this immodest MOD parade

But I have a question

I don’t mean to be rude

But I have a question I must ask

A question

That has been plaguing us

Americans ever since we set foot in your crazy clannish country!

So this question can’t wait!

I got to ask this question now

As many of you know

I am leaving for the States tomorrow

And now is the perfect time

Since you are all drunk now

You can’t help but speak the truth

Remember now

In Vinos Veritas

In booze you can’t help

But blurt out the truth

So I am sure

You will give an honest-to-God answer

To my honest-to-goodness question!

Gentleman of the revolutionary Mad MOD persuasion

The question is a very simple one:

It is no brainer!

All it calls forth is the courage

For a Somali

To utter an honest answer for once!

To whom does this country called

Somalia

That you are raping so mercilessly

Big time!

Really belong?

It is evident to every objective observer of the Somali scene today

That Somalia

That this country

Does not belong to you

So please

No polemics

No bullshit!

No snow job!

No blow job either!

Only 69

Don’t bullshit me

Don’t bulldoze me

Don’t snow me under

Don’t screw me blind in the eye!

Don’t shit me

Just give me the straight goods

The straight answer

Not a Mugdi Mudug meaningless meandering answer

Not an answer that beats around the Somali bullshit bush

Just give it to me straight

No adulteration

I can take it straight

I am not George Bush!

Don’t spare my American sensitive feelings

Just tell us the truth for once

I repeat

To whom does this country called

Somalia

Really belong?

I know it does not belong to any of you

You are all fleeing from this country

Like rats on a sinking ship!

But I also notice that you are taking everything with you before you begin

Your chicken run for you very lives to the good old USA!

Where dictators and their dividends dwell & do well

My God

This is Deja-Vu all over again!

This is Saigon all over again!

Well I say

Better do the chicken run than a mad MOD turkey shoot!

Every one of you came calling

Every one in this room came secretly

To my office in the American Embassy

Seeking an American visa

For himself

For his family!

So I have no doubt

I shall be seeing a lot of you chickens

Stateside

But honestly now

Kidding aside

Just between friends

Just between you and me

Answer me honestly

An honest question deserves an honest answer

I promise I won’t tell

To our all-powerful bully faggot called

J. Edger Hoover

Of the fucking FBI

Nor to the CIA

I just want to satisfy my curious human natural American curiosity

I know it is curiosity that killed the American cat too!

But I don’t expect you to kill me

After all if you do kill me

To whom will you go to begging for a visa

To run away from Somalia

After you raped her repeatedly of course!

After you robbed her blindly of course!

I see no one wants to answer my question!

Imagine for once I see Somalis

Who are for once at a loss for words!

Imagine an oxymoron:

Silent Somali Sammy Sambos!

Who will believe me

That I addressed a modest question

To a roomful of Somalis

And all I got was an embarrassed silence!

So for once I managed

To embarrass brash Somalis from the Mudug bush into silence!

I shall tell that

To our Boy Emperor

To doubleya

To George Bush pere too

To amuse them

This is incredible

I can hear a pin drop

The silence here is deafening!

What can I do to break this ominous silence

What can I do to fill the void of this eerie un-Somali silence

That I have sucked you all into!

Jalle Jayle

The Xawaadle whore

&

Ismail Ali Abukar

The Habar Ja-el jackass

Saved the situation

They burst out

BELTING IT OUT

That old standby

That silences

That drowns out

All opposition

All doubts

All crazy questions

All thought

GOOL WATHOY SIYAAD!

Even the American knew the words to this most revolutionary mad MOD song!

He poured it on with revolutionary true believer brio!

Finally the American attempted to answer his own $64 dollar American question

Gentlemen!

I put the same question

Yesterday

To a Mudulood native of Mogadishu

To an Abgaal donkey driver

One of your victims

Who supports you all mugdi Mudug con-artist ruffians

By the sweat of his brawn!

By the sweat of his brow!

By the sweat of his beast!

The Abgal donkey driver answered me without batting an eyelash!

I am just beginning

To decipher his Abgal laconic answer now!

He told me and I quote him word for word:

“AY SAFARAHA SITHAY SALKA MAYSHAY DHIGTAAN SUGAA!”

An alien dog

A fly-by-night floozy

A Johnny-come-lately

From mugdi Mudug

A rolling stone that gathers no moss

A traveling hot shot hot dog!

Who just loves to go a-begging

For foreign visas

To every foreign embassy in Mog

Is now

In charge of the whole destiny of the Somali nation

I am just Alasow in Afwayneland

No different from Alice in Wonderland!

I am just a simple Abgaal donkey driver!

Just watching

Just waiting

To see

How this mad MOD farce

How this mad MOD FART

How this doggone show

Is just finally going to play out

Is just finally going to peter out

Is just finally going back to the boondocks

Where it was born!

So I am just waiting now

For the mad MOD Apocalypse

For the mad MOD eclipse

For the mad MOD house of cards just to come tumbling down!

And

At the rate the MOD rats are fleeing the sinking Somali ship of state

I don’t have very long to wait!

I am just wondering

Who is going to clean up all the mess they leave behind?

&

How long it is going to take

Me & my donkey

To clean up

To shovel off

To haul off

All that shit off the Somali stage!

Mahamud Siad Togane


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