Like my dad
Siyaad Togane Dhuxulow Carbone
Like most Mudulood
I often forget
That I am
Of the Hutu Hawiye
Until a Dirty Darod
Like Ina Yay
Like Sa-eed Samatar
Reminds me
By trying to pull rank on me
Just like Honkies try to pull rank on Niggers!
—Bosteye
A not insignificant number of Daarood
FEEL
They need the bastard
Abdullahi Yuusuf
To deal with the HUTU Hawiye bastards
Like Aidiid!
—Sa-eed Samatar
Sa-eed Samatar’s parting shot to Togane:
Togane, you are my pal
As long as you play
Second fiddle to me
As long as you play
Kulmiye to my Afwayne!
As long as you play
John The Baptist to my Jesus Christ!
As long as I keep on increasing
And you keep on decreasing!
To which Togane rejoindered thus:
Sa-eed,you are my buddy
As long as you play
Second fiddle to me
As long as you play
Cirde or Irde to my Afwayne
As long as you play
John The Baptist to my Jesus Christ!
As long as I keep on increasing
And you keep on decreasing!
On that crazy note ended
On that rancid resentment drowned
The fabled forty-five-year old Samatar-Togane Friendship.
The storied forty-five-year old Samatar-Togane Boyhood Buddyhood.
…………
I grow
I prosper
Now, God
Stand up for bastards!”
--Edmund, in Shakespeare’s King Lear
Somalia is not an African nation
Somalia is not an Arab nation
Somalia is a bastard nation
That is why
Bastards Buggers and Bounders
Abound in Somalia!
—Emperor Haile Selassie
The Somali scuttlebutt
Here in Montreal
Has
Galayrd
The Ladrone
From Las Anod
Blowing his own horny horn thus:
My government under the blighted presidency
Of Ina Salad Boy
Proved out to be
Sedentary & Stationary
Perambulatory only
In its beggary
In its robbery
Of Arab faloos
Of Arab folly
Of Arab fatude
Otherwise
It just never got off the ground
Because
It was top heavy
It was bloated
With bililiqsie,
With plunder
With pillage!
Because
We pondered
We practiced
The Gospel the Chinese propagate—
With money a dragon
Without money a worm
So I simply multiplied my millions
Of yore
Of lore
From Afwayne Marayray MOD Mendacity Days
But this Ghedi government of the Mudulood Mindless Minion Mule
Under the presidency of Ina Yay
Has simply proven out to be stillbirth!
—Ali Khaleef Galayrd
(Whose government Togane aptly dubbed: Ali Baba & His Forty Thieves).
The vulture
The tree
And Mother Earth
Squabbled over
A sweet Morsel for Monarchs
A dish fit for the gods
A dish fit for royalty.
The vulture took a calculating look at the situation and reasoned thus:
The earth, well, is earth bound
The tree, well, is earth bound too!
And I can fly like an Eagle - let my spirit carry me
And I can fly and soar like an eagle to the sea —
And I can fly like an Eagle - ‘til I’m free
From both tree and earth
So why the hell must I share anything
Fair & square
With these two sitting ducks
With these two losers
WITH THE HUTU HAWIYE BASTARDS!
And with that parting shot
The vulture shot out
The vulture beat it
Like a bat out of hell
Snatching the Morsel
Like Galayrd!
Like Dafle Daffo Dhulbahante!
And disappearing into the blue yonder
After a second of reflection
The vulture
Or
Ina Yay
Came to his senses
And began to realize
He needs
Either
A tree
Or
A piece of Mother Earth
Upon which to consume the tasty Morsel
In another words
The Son of the Jackal must share the morsel
Willy-nilly
Fair & square
With the tree
With Mother Earth
In another words
The fly in the Darod ointment
The fly in the Darod Morsel is
Ina Yay must needs go to Mogadishu
And Mogadishu is in the hands of the
HUTU HAWIYE
In another words
The dilemma of this dumdum Damean Dullard Darod Dafle Daffo Yay
In another words
The joke is now on this Damean Dullard Darod Dafle Daffo Yay
Who neither wants nor knows
How to share
Fair & sqauare
With anybody else
Let alone the Hutu Hawiye
Whom Yay hates and holds in utter contempt
In another words
Ina Yay does not know
What every college KID knows
That politics is the Art of the Possible
Based upon
Compromise & Consensus
Two Civilized Concepts
Totally alien
Totally foreign
To the Dignity of the Dirty Darod
To the savage Majertgen Mahad Modus Operandi of Yay
To the savage Majerten Mahad Mugdi Mudug Modus Vivendi of Yay
To the savage Majerten Mahad Mindset of Yay
To the Dictatorial Dirty Darod Demeanor of Yay
To the Dictatorial Dirty Darod Majerten Mahad Make-up of Yay
Who had even forgotten this basic principle of his own savage
Majerten Mahad Mugdi Mudug Mores
That inculcate:
Nina dili
Nina daghi
Nina dabin u qolayso
Wa laysku kala dadiya yona ka didine:
To kill a ninny
To undo a nitwit
To noose a nincompoop
Seem what you are not
Lest the fool flee in a funk!
That inculcate:
To your Hutu Hawiye enemy Hordes
Give the sweetest milk!
So now it seems
That time is saying
I told you so
To Said Samarar’s Darod Bastard
To the Son of the Jackal
So now it seems
That Mudana Al-Hajji Musse Soodi Yelahow
Was right after all
When he and the Son of the Jackal
Bandied and Bantered
When this odd couple
When these duo dueled in Nairoabi
When Yay and Yelahow joshed and jived each other
When Yay yammered
Gloating thus:
—Musse, look at me
Look at what I am wearing
I am wearing the
Once-Hutu Hawiye-Coveted
Pretty Presidential Boots of
Mudulood Adan Abdulle Osman
Of lore!
Of yore!
That you had once quipped were too big for me
Look how snugly they fit me now
Look how snug like a bug in a rug
I strut
I fret
My hour upon the national Somali Stage
Full of Majerten Sound & Fury
Full of Piss & Vinegar
And above all
Full of
VENGEANCE
To visit upon the unsuspecting Hapless Hutu Hawiye!
Look how gracefully I can dance the rumba
In my Presidential Boots
All over the Prostrate Body of the Hopeless Hottentot Hawiye!
Look how snugly they fit me now
I just can’t wait to kick
Some silly Hutu Hawiye Heinnie!
To which Yalahow parried thus:
—Yay!
Yur!
Mark my words
I swear upon the name of the Almighty
From your gaff
From your gaffe of the gafter
From your lack of the gift of the gab
From your gait
Form the way you walk
From the way you talk
From your Mindless Mahad Majerten Mugdi Mudug Mau Mau Malice
From your empty idle bootless threats
That hold
No terror
No horror
For my Heroic Hawiye
Who made Mogadishu a Hawiye Hirab Hamlet
Who made Mogadishu
Darod-rein
Darod-frei
Abdullahi Yusuf
I know that
You are a Bastard of a Jackal
But until now
I did not know that
You are a Pig of a Bastard to boot!
Incastoo durdur iyo dabbaasha yaqaan
Doofar abidkii ma daahiro
Oo ma daayo dabeecadissii:
Even though
The pig knows
How to swim
How to dive
How to do the butterfly
How to turn somersaults in the water
The pig never ever gets clean
The pig never ever gets righteous
The pig is never ever
Kosher
Or
Halal!
In another words
SOMALIA CAN’T MAKE
A SILK PURSE
FROM THE MAHAD MAJERTEN SOW’S EAR
CALLED INA YAY!
I swear upon the name of the Almighty
I can tell
You will never ever get to walk in your pretty presidential boots
Upon the beautiful boulevard strands of Mudulood Mogadishu!
Upon Hawiye territory!
I swear upon the name of the Almighty
You will soon wear them out
Upon the mean cruel alien EXILE streets of Nairobi Kenya!
Upon doing the Shuffle and the Hustle between Addis & Nairobi
Yay!
You keep saying you’ve got on
THE MUDULOOD PRESEDENTIAL BOOTS OF
ADAN ABDULLE OSMANN
But confess.
You’ve been messin’ where you shouldn’t have been a messin’
And now we the Hawiye is gettin’ all your best.
Yay!
Your boots are NOT made
Neither for kicking the Hawiye Heinnie
Nor for walking all over the Hawiye
You keep lying, when you oughta be truthin’
And you keep losin’ when you oughta not bet.
You keep samin’ when you oughta be changin’.
Now what’s right is right, but you ain’t been right yet.
Yay!
Your boots are NOT made for walking all over the Hawiye
You keep playin’ where you shouldn’t be playin
And you keep thinkin’ that you´ll never get burnt.
Ha!
I just found me a brand new box of matches
Yeah
To set your Dirty Darod Derriere on fire!
And what I know you ain’t HAD time to learn.
Are you ready boots?
Are you ready
Yay!
You Dog of War!
Start walkin’!
Beat it!
Don’t wanna see your face
So beat it!
Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it
Yay!
You is defeated!
So beat it, just beat it
Beat it!
Back!
Back to the boondocks of Mahad Majerten Mugdi Mudug
Where your Dirty Darod Derriere belongs
Where they grow bumper crops of
Darod Bastards & Buggers & Bounders
Like Yay!
I said
Beat it!
—M. S. Togane
NOTES
And I can fly like an Eagle - let my spirit carry me: Seal Lyrics Song.
Beat It: Michael Jackson’s song..
Bililiqsie: (Somali) Razzia and rape & rapine; pillaging & sacking & kidnapping; the political modus operandi of Atto, Aideed, Ali Diesel, Galayr, Salad Boy and their Darod-Hawiye Huns: all Somali clans are guilty of this abominable lawlessness and outrage, but the Hawiye, particularly the Habar Gidir, distinguished themselves in this evil enterprise; bililiqsi is their main contribution to Somali political discourse: witness what they have wrought in mad Manocobio Mogadishu. It is indeed the Hawiye Huns who brought back Kipling back in vouge especially “his lesser breeds without the law, half child, half devil”: a perfect description of the Hutu Hawiye Hirab now in charge of Mog.
“Bililiqsi or raids are our agriculture” is the boast of the Bedouin Hawiye of Mugdi Mudug. See page 228 of Bruce Cahtwin’s “Nomadic Invasions” in What Am I doing Here. New York: Viking Penguin, 1989.
Darod-frei: (German) Free of Darod.
Darod-rein: (German) Cleansed of Darod.
Faloos: (Arabic) money.
Fatude: (Somali) “…sincere delusions—that is, lies which the liar believes.”
See page 235of John Berryman. Recovery. New York: Farar, Straus and Giroux, 1973.
A chip-on-the-shoulder delusional attitude informed by ignorance & arrogance. A Somali word meaning an attitude struck & stuck in the high lazy latitudes of the doldrums of the doo-doos of self-deception. Faude is a child “of an idle brain, / Begot of nothing but vain fantasy...” See Romeo & Juliet . 1. iv. 97-98. It is a typical Somali Mugdi Mudug attitude of bullshit & bluster. The English tongue has borrowed many a word from the Somali tongue, such as yahoo, nag, ninny, seal, was, goose, fug, etc. I predict the English language will soon appropriate fatude. It is just a matter of time before it too begins to roll off the English tongue just like yahoo. See “A Short lesson In Comparative Languages”, p. 5 of M. S. Togane. The Bottle & The Bushman: Poems of The Prodigal Son. Ste-Anne de Bellevue (Québec): The Muses’Company, 1986. Fatude aptly describes the common Somali affliction of disconnection from reality. It also means a rude, crude attitude based on farce and according to Alfred Kazin, “Farce is catastrophe without a context and without a solution.” A perfect description & definition of the Somali syndrome & the malady of Mog. See page 95 of Alfred Kazin. God & the American Writer. New York: Alfred A Knopf, 1997.
Ladrone: (Italian) Thief.
Mahad: The Majerten sept of Abdullahi Yusuf.
Marayra: The name of the sugar factory whose funds (millions of Kwaiti Yankee dollars) Ali Khaleef Galayrd absconded with; that made Galayrd a millionaire many times over and one of the main dragons of Somali politics—remember money is the mother’s milk of politics.
MOD: The primitive & savage tribal troika, the modus operandi of Afwayne that tyrannized & terrorized Somalia for over two decades. “M stands for the patrilineage (Marrehaan) of the President; O for that of his mother—and this means the Ogaadeen people who live in the critically sensitive Ogaadeen border region of Ethiopia; and D for the Dulbahante, [‘literally he who conquered all the lands’]; the lineage of his son-in-law, aptly dubbed, Dafle, the snatcher, the head of the dreaded NSS [“Nasty Sickie Snatchers].” Afwayne’s storm troopers. “The implications were succinctly expressed in a popular explanatory verbal formula: The Marrehan are drunk on power; the Dulbahante are drunk on pride; the Ogaadeen are drunk on powdered milk.’” The Powdered milk donated by international aid signifies the fact the Ogaadeen were mostly refugees from Ethiopia; Somalia was not even their country. See page 165 of Lewis’s Blood & Bone: The Call of Kinship in Somali Society. Lawrenceville, N.J.: The Red Sea Press, 1994.
Mudug: The area of Somalia where all the evils that are plaguing Somalia right now are cultivated & cathected; the area where they grow monsters, midgets, morons, & other assorted Moriyaans & their mindless managers & manipulators like Afwayne, Aideed, Ali Diesel, Morgan, Abdullahi Yusuf, Galayr, Atto & the Boy atop his Darod goat from Garowe & Galayrd.
Mugdi: (Somali) Darkness, despair & evil; ignorance & arrogance of Mudug.
These Boots Were Made For Walking: Nancy Sinatra’s song.
YUMBA MAMBO MARUMBA MERENGUE: These are the dances Hussein Aideed majored in when he was a gas station attendant in Los Angeles.
