-------TOGANE
WHAT MAKES SAMMY RUN
WHAT MAKES SAMMY SOMALI RUN
WHAT IS MAKING YOU RUN
WHAT ARE YOU AFTER
-----WHAT DO YOU MEAN
------ I MEAN
YOU NEVER SEEM TO GIVE UP!
NO WONDER YOU CHAMPION THE CAUSE OF YAY
YOU ARE JUST ANOTHER MAQUSTE!
JUST LIKE HIM
LET ME SEE
FOR THE FIRST TIME
YOU LEFT MOGADISHU FOR CALIFORNIA IN 1965
BEFORE YOUR OLD FLAME WHO LIT YOUR FIRE WAS EVEN BORN
BEFORE URSULA GARFUNKEL WAS EVEN CONCEIVED
YOU CRADLE ROBBER
THAT WAS 3 MONTHS
AFTER UNCLE SAM MURDERED MALCOLM X
AFTER UNCLE SAM MARTYRED MALCOLM X
TWO YEARS
AFTER UNCLE SAM MURDERED JFK
AFTER UNCLE SAM MARTYRED JFK
AFFECTIONATELY KNOWN TO SOMALIS OF YOUR GENERATION AS
JOHN FARAH KENNEDY
THEN YOU RETURNED HOME TO MOG IN 1970
EMPEROR OF BONDHERE
LORD OF MEREG
CHIEF OF THE CHIEFS OF WA-ESLE
SHEIKH OF THE SOMALI SEAS
BACHELOR OF THE ARTS OF OXFORD UNIVERSITY
NO LONGER MAROYARE:
NO LONGER A BUSHMAN
IN A MINI LOINCLOTH BUT
IN BLUE JEANS
IN COWBOY BOOTS
WITH BACHELOR OF ARTS FROM AN AMERICAN COLLEGE!
WITH AN AMERICAN COLLEGE EDUCATION
WITH AN AMERICAN MENNONITE WIFE
WITH RACHEL GARBER
DAUGHTER OF A MENNONITE BISHOP
TO TEACH AT THE AMERICAN LAFOLE COLLEGE OF EDUCATION
ONLY TO FLEE FOR YOUR LIFE THREE YEARS LATER
FROM THE TERROR OF AFWAYNE
FROM THE TYRANNY OF AFWAYNE
YOU VOTED WITH YOUR FEET IN 1973
YOU FLED AFWAYNELAND 1N 1973
TO COLD CANTANKEROUS CANADA
WHILE THE ENTIRE WHOLE AFWAYNE SOMALI MOD NATION
WAS HUMMING
WAS HYMNING
WAS HOSSANA-ING
WAS ROOTING
WAS HOLLERING
WAS HOOTING
WAS TOOTING
WAS FARTING
NAKED
VOCIFEROUSLY
LIKE NAKED NURUDDIN FARAH
IN HIS NAKED NEEDLE
CATERWAULING
GUUL-WADOW-SIYAAD!
AABIHI GARASHADA!
O VICTORIOUS SIYAAD!
O DANDY DADDY YO SIYAAD!
PAPA DOC OF ALL KNOWLEDGE
PAPA DOC OF ALL WISDOM
PAPA DOC OF ALL UNDERSTANDING
YOU RETURNED TO MOGADISHU IN 1986 FOR QUICKIE LOOKY-SEE
YOU RETURNED YET AGAIN TO MOG IN 1991 FOR ANOTHER QUICKIE LOOKY-SEE
YOU RETURNED YET AGAIN TO MOG IN 1992 FOR ANOTHER QUICKIE LOOKY-SEE
WHILE THE CIVIL WAR WAS RAGING
AND NOW
YOU ARE FIXING TO RETURN YET AGAIN TO MOG FOR ANOTHER QUICKIE LOOKY-SEE
IN THIS SPRING OF 2007
YOU REALLY MEANT IT WHEN YOU THE OTHER DAY
LIKE SOME CHICKEN-EATIN’ SOUTHERN BLACK BAPTIST PREACHER
SO PASSIONATELY AVERRED IN TORONTO
THIS YEAR IN MOGADISHU!
I REMEMBER
DURING THE CIVIL WAR YOU WERE THE NORTH AMERICAN AMBASSADOR OF USC:
URURKA SOMALI ÈERAY-YE!
THE UNION THAT REDUCED THE WHOLE SOMALI RACE TO PENURY
THE UNION THAT PUT THE WHOLE SOMALI RACE ON THE DOLE!
AKA UNITED SOMALI CONGRESS
BETTER KNOWN AS
MORE ACCURATELY KNOWN AS
MORE POLITICALLY INCORRECT KNOWN AS
THE GANG OF NIENTE!
THE GANG OF NADA!
THE GANG OF NYET!
THE GANG THAT COULDN’T SHOOT STRAIGHT
THE HOPELESS HAPLESS HUTU HAWIYE HOOLIGANS!
YOU TRIED THEN TO MAKE PEACE BETWEEN GENERAL WOW
AKA GENERAL DAFT
AND YOUR AGNATE ABGAL DONKEY DRIVER
AKA DIESEL
IN THAT TRIAL
IN THAT TRIBULATION
IN THAT TEMPTATION
IN THAT ACT OF SHUTTLE DIPLOMACY
YOU HAD ALMOST LOST YOUR LIFE FOUR TIMES:
TWO TIMES ON DAFT’S SIDE
TWO TIMES ON DIESEL’S SIDE
A PERFECT SYMMETRY
OF HAAYOW FOLLY &
OF ILL-JEH FATUDE
A PERFECT CONGRUENCY
OF ILL-JEX & HAAYOW
OF TWEEDLEDUM & TWEEDLEDEE
TOGANE
WHAT MAKES YOUR ABGAL DONKEY-DRIVER DANCE?
WHAT MAKES SAMMY RUN?
WHAT MAKES SAMMY SAMBO SOMALI RUN?
WHAT MAKES TOGANE RUN?
WHAT ARE YOU AFTER?
WHAT IS MAKING YOU RUN SO RECKLESSLY
WHAT IS MAKING YOU LIVE LARGELY SO DANGEROUSLY
WHAT IS DRIVING YOU AND YOUR DARING DAROD DONKEY
WHY ARE YOU SO READY TO GO FOR BROKE
BETTING THE RANCH ON THIS LOST SOMALI CAUSE OF PEACE
YOU MUST BE BLACK IRISH
YOU MUST BE THE KISSING COUSIN OF SAINT JUDE
THE PATRON SAINT OF LOST CAUSES
WHY ARE YOU
SO AFIRE
SO AFLAME
SO AGLOW
SO GANG-HO
SO ON
SO FULL OF INTUITION
SO FULL OF INTIMATION
SO FULL OF PASSION
SO FULL OF MISSION
SO FULL OF VISION
FOR THE NINNIES OF NINIVAH
FOR THE MADMEN OF MOGADISHU
FOR THE MUDULOOD MARAUDERS OF MOG
FOR THE HELPLESS MISKIIN OF MOG
FOR THAT GODFORSAKEN CITY CALLED MOG
FOR THAT GOD-FROWNED-UPON CITY NOW CALLED HOOG IYO BA!
FOR THAT FORLORN CITY NOW CALLED
DIS
THE CAPITAL OF DEATH
FOR MEAN MOG
WHOSE ENTRANCE BEARS DANTE’S INSCRIPTION
FOR THAT HOPELESS HAPLESS HAAYOW CITY
WHOSE ENTRANCE BEARS DANTE’S INSCRIPTION:
LASCIATE OGNI SPERANZA VOI CH’ENTRATE:
ABANDON HOPE ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE
WHY DON’T YOU TAKE THE WISE ADVICE OF HASSAN SALAH NAJI
WHO TOLD YOU IN MONTREAL SO FORTHRIGHTLY
AGES AGO
KALI YUGAS AGO:
IF YOU LOVE SOMALIA
IF YOU LOVE SOMALIS
LET THERE BE AN OCEAN OR TWO
BETWEEN YOU & SOMALIA
BETWEEN YOU & SOMALIS
YOU KNOW
WE SOMALIS SAY THAT THE FLY IS IN THE FARTING FILTHY FECES
FOR HIS OWN FOOFOO
FOR HIS OWN FOOD
FOR HIS OWN FORTE
FOR HIS OWN FORT
FOR HIS OWN COMFORT
FOR HIS OWN FOUR-EYED FISH
FOR HIS OWN PRIDE
FOR HIS OWN JAM
FOR HIS OWN JINNIES
FOR HIS OWN JOY
FOR HIS OWN JOLLIES
FOR HIS OWN JOLLY JOB
FOR HIS OWN JOYRIDE
FOR HIS OWN JOLLOP
FOR HIS OWN JOLLOF
FOR HIS OWN JUICE
FOR HIS OWN JUJU
FOR HIS OWN JIMI THING
FOR HIS OWN JIGGITY JIGLIN’ JIGGLY JIGJIG
FOR HIS OWN YEN
FOR HIS OWN YAM
FOR HIS OWN YIN YANG
FOR HIS OWN YUM YUM
FOR HIS OWN YUMMY
FOR HIS OWN YUMA
FOR HIS OWN YUCK
FOR HIS OWN FILTHY LUCRE
FOR HIS OWN INTEREST
WHY ARE YOU SO INTERESTED
IN BRINGING BACK PEACE TO MOGADISHU
IN BRINGING BACK THE RULE OF LAW TO MOGADISHU
WHY ARE YOU SO INTERESTED
IN BRINGING BACK TO MOGADISHU THE WRIT OF LAW
MAHAA KAGA SHAN IYO TOBAN AH:
WHAT IS FIFTEEN FOR YOU
WHY DO YOU GIVE A FUCK
WHAT IS IT TO YOU
YOU ARE A SOMALI
AND THERE IS NOT A SINGLE PATRIOT AMONG OUR SOMALI KIND
WE ARE GYPSIES
WE ARE FLY-BY-NIGHT FUCKERS
WE ARE NOMADS
WE ARE NOMADIC
IN PLACES
IN PROMISES
IN PRINCIPLES
WE ARE BEDOUIN
OUR AGRICULTURE IS
RAZZIA
ROBBING
RAPING
RAIDING
PILLAGING
BILILIQSING
WE ARE CONSTANT
IN NOTHING BUT
IN INCONSTANCY
REMEMBER
WHAT THE LATE RYSZARD KAPUSCINSKI RECORDED FOR HISTORY
REMEMBER
WHAT THAT GOOD SON OF POLAND PROPOUNDED IN HIS
SHADOW OF THE SUN
THAT WE SILLY CYNICAL SICKO PSYCHO SAMBO SOB SOMALIS SING
SO SNOOTILY
SO SMUGLY
SO SONOROUSLY
SO SUPERCILIOUSLY
SO CARELESSLY CROONING LIKE YANKY COONS:
MY COUNTRY?
MY COUNTRY IS WHEREVER THE RAIN FALLS!
TOGANE
WE ARE CERTAIN THAT YOU WANT
TO GO BACK TO THAT BLACK POT CALLED SOMALIA BECAUSE
AS THE SOMALI SAYING SIGNIFICANTLY SAYS
“THE CLOSER YOU ARE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE BLACK POT
THE CLOSER YOU ARE TO THE FAT JUICY MEATY BONE IN THE POT!”
YOU KNOW
EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF
AND THE DEVIL TAKE THE HINDMOST
EVERY AND EACH SOMALI IS
AS THE ILL-JEH CYCLOPS OF SOMALIA
WHO BOAST JUST LIKE THE CYCLOPS (c.424-23 B.C.) OF ANCIENT DAYS:
‘I SACRIFICE TO NO GOD
SAVE MYSELF AND TO MY BIG BELLY
THE GREATEST OF ALL DEITIES’
FOR EXAMPLE
EVERY AND EACH SOMALI KNOWS
WHAT MAKES
YOUR COMPEER
YOUR CONFRERE
THE DHULBAHANTE SAVVY SAMMY SAMBO SOMALI RUN?
EVERY AND EACH SOMALI KNOWS
WHAT GLARING GALAYRD IS AFTER
WHAT MAKES GLARING GLAYRD RUN
WHAT MAKES THAT EAGER GIER-EAGLE FLY
WHAT MAKES THAT VULPINE VULTURE VIE
WITH SUCH FLIMFLAM
WITH SUCH FINESSE
WITH SUCH FINE FANGED FINAGLE
WITH FRENCH FANCY FRAUD
WITH FINGER-LICKING LEGERDEMAIN
HE WANTS TO RUN
THE WHOLE CABOOSE
THE WHOLE CASINO
THE WHOLE CASE-FORTE
THE WHOLE KIT & CABOODLE
THE WHOLE SHEBANG
THE WHOLE JOINT
THE WHOLE CUNNUS
THE WHOLE CUNTRY
SO HE CAN LOOT IT TO HIS OWN HEART’S CONTENT
AS HE DID UNDER THE KLEBTOCRACIES
OF AFWAYNE
OF SALAD BOY
HE IS THE SOMALI CONSUMMATE CONSTANT CONMAN
THE SOMALI CONSUMMATE CONSTANT KLEPTOCRAT
YOU WROTE VERY WELL ABOUT HIS CABINET
OF KLEBTOCRACY
OF KALABTOCRACY
HIS CABINET OF ALI BABA & FORTY THIEVES!
JFK FAMOUSLY SAID: ...MY FELLOW AMERICANS:
ASK NOT WHAT YOUR COUNTRY CAN DO FOR YOU--
ASK WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR COUNTRY
GLARING GALAYRD INFAMOUSLY SAYS,
‘MY FELLOW DHULBAHANTE DAROD
ASK NOT WHAT I CAN DO FOR DHULBAHANTE DAROD--
ASK WHAT DHULBAHANTE DAROD CAN DO FOR ME!
MY FELLOW SOMALIS:
ASK NOT WHAT I CAN DO FOR MY COUNTRY--
ASK WHAT MY COUNTRY CAN DO FOR ME
HE REMINDS ME OF WHAT DAVID PRYCE-JONES WROTE
ABOUT ARABS IN HIS BOOK
THE CLOSED CIRCLE: AN INTERPRETATION OF THE ARABS
PARTICULARLY ABOUT THAT EGYPTIAN CALLED ZAGHLUL
WHO FOUND
THE VERY IDEA OF LOVE FOR HIS COUNTRY
THE VERY IDEA OF SERVICE TO HIS COUNTRY
“GENUINELY INCOMPREHENSIBLE”
GENUINELY MESHUGA
GENUINELY KOOKY
GENUINELY A FOOL’S ERRAND
ZAGHLUL MAINTAINED:
“IT WAS NOT HIS BUSINESS TO ADVANCE HIS COUNTRY’S INTERESTS
IT WAS HIS COUNTRY’S BUSINESS TO ADVANCE HIS INTERESTS”
THIS IS WHAT GHANDI MEANT
BY ‘THE COLD HARDHEARTEDNESS’
OF SO-CALLED PSEUDO-INTELLECTUALS
OF GLARING GALAYRD’S ILK
NOW OF GLARING GALAYRD’S PHD
EVERY SOMALI KNOWS
TOU LE MONDE KNOWS
P IS FOR POVERTY
H IS FOR HUNGER
D IS FOR DISEASE!
‘HERE AM I
CAPTAIN OF A LEGION OF ROME,’
RUNS AN INSCRIPTION MUGGERIDGE WAS SO FOND OF QUOTING,
WHO SERVED IN THE LIBYAN DESERT
AND LEARNS AND PONDERS THIS TRUTH---
THERE ARE IN LIFE BUT TWO THINGS
LOVE & POWER
AND NO MAN CAN HAVE BOTH.’
GLARING GALAYDH IS HONEST: HE FREELY ADMITS THAT HE IS NO LOVER BOY!
IN THAT INFAMOUS INTERVIEW WITH YOU HE DECLARED:
I DON’T LOVE SOMALIS
I DON’T LOVE SOMALIA
I JUST LOVE TO HAVE POWER OVER THE JUNGLE BUNNIES
IN THEIR BENIGHTED BOONIES!
I HAVE DEVOTED MY LIFE TO THE PURSUIT OF POWER
NOT PUSSY
REMEMBER
IT WAS THE MOST RECKLESS PURSUIT
OF POON
OF MAKIN WHOOPIE
THAT NEARLY DERAILED THE PRESIDENCY
OF BUBBA
OF BILL CLINTON
THAT MADE THE OVAL OFFICE MORE LIKE THE ORAL OFFICE’
‘GIVE ME THAT MAN THAT IS NOT PASSION’S SLAVE
AND I WILL WEAR HIM IN MY HEART’S CORE
AY, IN MY HEART OF HEART
AS I DO THEE, GLARING GALAYRD’
I SHARE THE SAME VIEWS OF MADAME MAO
ON THE BOOTLESS PURSUIT OF POONTANG
WHO OPINED:
“SEX IS ENGAGING IN THE FIRST ROUNDS
BUT
WHAT SUSTAINS INTEREST IN THE LONG RUN IS POWER”
SO BY ALL MEANS I INTEND TO GET POWER
EVERY MEANS IS LEGIT IF THE END IS POWER
YOU KNOW
BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY
BY ALL MEANS NECESSARY
POWER IS THE END THAT JUSTIFIES EVERY MEAN MEANS
POWER IS MY PERFECT CUP
OF COOZE
OF COOZY
POWER IS MY PERFECT PURSUIT OF COOCHIE
BOY, I AM THE HOOCHIE COOCHIE POWER MAN
AFTER ALL
AS REPROBATE RABBI KISSINGER PUT IT:
“POWER IS THE ULTIMATE APHRODISIAC.”
GLARING GALAYDH DOESN’T GIVE AN ABGAL DONKEY’S FART ABOUT
LOVE AND ALL THAT JAZZ
HE DOESN’T GIVE A FARTHING ABOUT LOVE
AND ALL THAT COOCHIN OUT
AND ALL THAT COOCHIE JUICE
‘CAUSE
HE IS RUNNING FOR NUMERO UNO
HE IS RUNNING TO GET ALL HE CAN
WHILE THE GETTING IS GOOD
WHILE GREED IS GREEN
WHILE GREED IS GOOD
HE IS IN THE GAME FOR THE FILTHY LUCRE
HE DOES NOT LOVE HIS COUNTRY
NOR DOES HE CARE TO SERVE HER
HE IS PURSUING POWER—
THE POWER TO LOOT
THE SOMALI NATIONAL PATRIMONY
THE SOMALI NATIONAL TREASURY
WITH DAROD DHULBAHANTE IMPUDENT TEFLON!
WITH DAROD DHULBAHANTE IMPUNITY TEFLON!
I HEARD GLARING GALAYRDH RECENTLY
GABBING
CRIBBING
FROM WILDE
PONTIFICATING POMPOUSLY:
‘WHEN I WAS YOUNG
I USED TO THINK THAT
MONEY WAS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN LIFE
NOW THAT I AM OLD AND WISE
I KNOW IT IS.’
..................................
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